Mike called a few hours ago and he was talking about the military. He doesn't know it but I started crying. I'm strong and I know it. I've known for a while that he wanted to go, but that doesn't make things any easier. It's not like i can just say "I love you but I don't want you to go." Its his life and regardless of the the fact that I am a big part of it, I can't stop him from doing what he wants to do in life. It is insane how much I love this guy, real mature love. It's different this time and I know people always say that but it's true. I had a dream he was coming back in uniform and I was crying and holding on to him. Why do things have to be so difficult?
In grandma news, they think she'll be going to die pretty soon. My mama is having a really rough time in st. Louis. i can't help but feel sorry for my mom. She has been through so much this year.